I’m Sorry…. Storm is Coming???

It has been quite the season. My friends have been attacked. I have been attacked. Who knows what else went under fire that I haven’t even found out about yet. I have seen lives torn apart, finances come crashing down, families in pieces and children that have been destroyed by past decisions (some day I will confess this one since it is my child).

I will say, my season that I am coming out of has been long and super difficult, but definitely the most rewarding moment of my life. I have had the joy of growing, building my trust in God and learning more about who He really is. I have also had the joy of using my words to build people up, provide a little strength and hope and none of that could have happened without me suffering through the last few months. I know without a doubt that it was God working through me.

Let’s be honest. I knew my time at Blue Coast was going to run out. The problem with that, was the time it took to start my new job. There was exactly a month and a half between the two. Let’s keep in mind, I had drained everything I had saved before this so when I stepped into this “waiting” moment, I felt doomed. I felt something I never wanted to struggle with….I was doubtful.

Weeks into that and another situation that was happening, I was done. God wasn’t taking care of me. He promised to provide if I would trust Him. Where was He?? So, I wrote it out. I wrote the how, when, why of how I was going to kill myself. I wrote the who should get my kids and please take care of them like this. I wrote the teach them to love everyone and never expose them hate plea. Then, I got to completely crack on two women that I hold dear to me. I heard their words of encouragement, but listening is not a skill I’m blessed with in all situations. This was absolutely hopeless.

We have all been there. Some of us are there now and aren’t even aware. We let Satan plant that little seed of doubt and we get to endure getting crushed by it. We see no hope in getting our bills caught up, and we let it trip us up in our walk with God. We can’t see our families back together or our children coming home, and we let it make us feel abandoned and helpless. We took our eyes off of heaven and let the worldly things destroy us.

For me, I found this verse:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4

I’m sorry…..Did that say pure joy??? Let’s talk about this…. It was not pure joy, until I realized that this was it. We are tested and tried because God really does have something better for us. We have to prove our strength through the storm, because if we can’t make it through a small storm, then how will we ever make it through the fire that comes our way. We have to dive into our bibles every day and rest on the promises of our God because He is never going to leave us. No matter how dark the skies are, or how much rain comes with it, He is holding our hand.

God’s Word is true. Joshua 21:45 (NASB) says, “Not one of the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.

When doubt creeps in, crush it with God’s word. Recalling Scripture is the best weapon we have against Satan’s lies.

We can also look back and remember what God has done for us in the past. In Joshua 4, the Israelites made a memorial to remember how God helped them cross the Jordan River. Be intentional about remembering what the Lord has done for you. God’s past performance is the best indication of His future provision.

Doubt will eat us alive. We let Satan in without even knowing. We are driving down the road, mowing our yards or even cooking dinner when we hear it.

Is God real?

Can I trust Him?

Is He really going to provide for me?

One day, at the end of my rope, I checked the mail and found a gift card in envelope with no name and no return address and in the same breathe for the first time in two months, Izzy’s dad actually paid child support. I though I was going to melt on the spot. How could I have ever doubted God and His ability to take care of me? I sat down and realized that He had provided side jobs and things for me to do to earn money. I had the time to sit down and decide what I wanted to do and pray about my purpose a little more. He had taken care of me and led me to places I should be. I would have never taken the time to sit down and talk to Him about everything. I’m guilty of getting wrapped up in the “crazy, busy life.”

So rest assured, God is never going to leave your side. He is going to hold your hand through everything. He even promises in Isaiah 43:1-2…

 

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze